


never been loved before

by silas_solveig



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Fluffy, From Sex to Love, Jealous Hux, Kylo Ren Redemption, M/M, Protective Hux, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 08:39:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10658946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silas_solveig/pseuds/silas_solveig
Summary: Kylo and Hux start a sex relationship, but Hux is falling hard for Kylo...





	never been loved before

It started out as a joke. One of the man on the bridge was pent-up, more than usual. And since Armitage Hux was in a particularly good mood -and there was only Kylo Ren close enough to whisper to- he leaned his head sideways to Ren and spoke under his breath jokingly, "guess, someone needs to get laid"  
Ren's masked face turned to him - ever so slightly. His voice heavy with confusion, "i don't see what-"  
That made Hux snicker, "just joking" and stalked off.  
A few days later however the subject came up again. After the meeting between General Hux, Kylo Ren and a few important directors, Kylo came up to Hux and muttered, "geeh, the director definitively needs to get laid" Surprised, Hux turned to him. A smug grin on his face, "aah, I see. Because you didn't get the joke at first, you now want to proof you don't have a massive stick up your ass." He wondered if Kylo would blush with embarrassment, but like always the mystery of his face laid hidden beneath his black mask. After a few silent seconds, Hux decided this remark was enough torture for today and leaned closer, conspiratorially. "But you are absolutely right, he seems to suffer from a serious condition of getting not fucked enough and being an enormous arsehole" that got him a little huff from the masked figure.

  
And like that this little insider between these two started. Whenever someone on Starkiller Base was way too moody or just a plain pain in the ass, that someone 'needed to get laid'. It might be that whenever they talked they stood closer than absolutely necessary and perhaps Hux noticed that but did not point it out or even change something about it. After all, they didn't want anyone else to eavesdrop on their silly talks about getting laid.  
Someday this little game of theirs broadened. Until then it always applied others. But today was different, Hux was annoyed and snapped at any noise. Especially at Kylo Ren. If he wasn't wearing his mask he would roll his eyes at Hux but that was sadly not an option. So he stepped closer to the raging ginger and mumbled, grinning under his mask, "who needs to get laid, huh?" Abruptly, startled at the voice approaching him, he turned to Kylo, "huh?" Again a small huff and then a voice underlain with laughter, "You. You need to get laid, you're acting like a sex deprived cunt"  
And he was damned if right now he did not think about sex... last time was a darn long time ago.  
Since that moment they called each other out. Whispering and sometimes only with gestures (and Hux with help of mimic). After every grumpy remark or moody reaction, one of them always leaned his head close to the other and uttered something about the need of getting laid. One time, they weren't close enough, so Hux mouthed the words "you need to get fucked" to Kylo, who was standing on the opposite side of the room. Kylo nearly snorted with laughter. -not to mention the fact that Kylo only noticed this at him directed voiceless mouthed sentence because his eyes wandered over to Hux every few seconds-.  
Hux had never talked or thought about sex so often and intensely, he started to begin to feel pretty sex deprived.  
And then there was this one incident. It wasn't even a real incident, it was merely a... thing. Hux had strolled through Starkiller Base and suddenly found himself in front of Kylo's apartment. He had never been there before and he really had no intention of being there. But now that he already was here, he couldn't resist and since the door was slightly ajar, he stepped closer and looked inside. The first thing he noticed was the mask... discarded on a table. And then there was a young man, heavy breathing, naked from the waist up and damp with sweat. Black, longish hair framing a peculiar face. He must be Kylo, back from training or a work out. Hux couldn't say he disliked what he saw. Quickly, he walked off.  
He heard footsteps and looked up, but he only saw the door was open and went to close it.  
This incident for itself was even less of a thing. What really made it a real 'thing' was that the next time Kylo joked, that he needed to get laid, Hux did not dwell on memories of pretty naked girls beneath him but saw Kylo in his mind, breathing heavy, his muscular chest going up and down with every breath he took, his arms propped on the table, the muscles on his back flexed, his hair falling to his shoulders and his face... damn it.

  
When was the last time he had sex, wondered Hux. A damn long time ago. There was only one person on this fucking big Starkiller Base he would...but would he want it too. Damn it. And he didn't even like him. But maybe that was alright. It would be just sex.  
He found the quarters without delay, he had been there before after all. The door was closed, but he knew Kylo would be there. But he shouldn't be there, perhaps it would be better if he left now. Damn it, he had already knocked on the door. He didn't remember lifting his hand, but he often overlooked stuff when his mind was preoccupied. Like opening the door and going inside. Because now he was standing in front of Kylo in his apartment and he wondered what he would say. He hadn't planned this, it was spontaneous but he must say something, oh dear this could go so wrong... how would he ever get over that embarrassment.  
"General Hux?" Kylo's voice was pleasantly soft without his mask. Armitage Hux had to look up to see into his eyes. They locked eyes and Hux decided what to do. He closed the door behind him without taking his eyes off of Kylo and then slowly, so in case Kylo would reject him he could stop before he even really began, he reached out. His hands found the clothes over Kylo's broad chest and slowly -ever so slowly- Hux began to open them. Kylo hadn't moved so far. For a mortifying moment, Hux feared he had assumed too much. But now he felt strong hands brushing over his chest up to his throat, carefully unzipping his jacket. How soft these hands were on his skin, how careful and how much better they felt compared to all his memories of touch combined. Kylo steered him to his too-small-for-two-to-comfortably-fit bed and gently pushed him onto it. And when he felt Kylo's weight and warmth over him and felt his lips on his body, oh he knew that he had made the right decision.  
Afterwards he gathered his clothes up and quickly left. Kylo seemed to be already asleep.  
The next day, neither of them spoke about what happened, nor did they continue with their little jokes about getting laid. But he wondered if it would be too presumptuous to show up at his apartment this evening again. Whether too presumptuous or not, he knocked at the door, went in, closed the door and Kylo was all over him again. A little bit less gentle and more rough.  
This continued like that for a while. A damn good while. The change came slowly, at first Hux didn't even realize...but then he noticed how he liked to kiss between his shoulders and listen to him ramble about his day, like a sponge Hux absorbed all information he got and kept them, treasured them deep in his heart; how he thought about Kylo, not about the sex, well not primarily, but about Kylo, his rare smiles which seemed to only belong to him, (no one did see his face, but Hux); and how when Kylo began to ask if he wanted to stay, he nearly did stay.  
The biggest change was when he kissed Kylo. They never kissed. Well, not til then anyway. It had been a stressful day, they both were -before they even got down on each other- already exhausted. Lazily, Hux was getting Kylo out of his clothes, brushing his bare hands over his shoulders, bending down to suck at his throat. They were both sitting on the bed, it was too small, too cramped. Hux was on his knees. Kylo had his legs slung around Hux. His hands around his waist, pulling him closer, always closer.  
His own hands found their way into his black thick hair, combing through it, brushing single strands of hair from his face. He thought often about this face, since the moment he first saw it. And then he kissed him. It was a long and a very good kiss. When they broke apart he couldn't help himself but smiled very hugely. He hid his face on Kylo's neck though. But Kylo still felt his smile, and with it the joy and happiness. And he wondered when had been the last time Hux had been happy, really happy, like he was now -even though he tried to hide it. Kylo himself was also happy, after a long period, he felt happiness and love again. How strange.  
In a stupid impulse, he wanted Hux to see how happy he made him. So he turned them, in a way that Hux was lying on his back, then he kissed him again and again. The whole time smiling. And Hux saw it too and the way his blue eyes twinkled and shone, Kylo knew the general was falling in love with him. But he wouldn't mention it. After all, this whole thing was only sex, wasn't it.  
Afterwards they were both out of breath and totally spent, lying on the bed, his eyes already drooping, Kylo whispered nearly not audibly, "You could stay" Hux looked at him and his one hand moved up to touch his face but stopped midway. He wanted to stay, he saw it in his eyes, but nevertheless he quickly turned and left.  
He was falling hard for Kylo, he knew it. Maybe it was already too late. They were in bed, Kylo was lying next to him on his bed, he himself was prompted up on his side facing Kylo, looking down at him. With his right hand drawing circles on his broad chest. He wondered why he wasn't going. He just couldn't spend the night with Kylo Ren. Leaving his quarters in the next morning? That seemed impossible. Waking up next to him...seemed rather nice.  
Kylo blinked lazily up to him: "do you wanna stay this time?" Hux leaned over and kissed him. What was meant as a goodbye kiss turned out to be a yes-i'll-stay kiss. Ren's arms around him, with his head on his shoulder, curled up around him. He fell into a dreamless sleep.  
It was this way how Kylo learned that his general was a late riser. When the sun was up, Kylo was up, but not Hux. He was lying half on Kylo and when he moved his upper body to see if Hux was still asleep, Hux stirred. "Don't move" he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. Gently he played with Hux's ginger hair strand and hummed. "Mmh, I love you, Kylo" Kylo stopped playing with his hair, actually he stopped doing anything. It took Hux a moment to realize what words had just left his lips, then he quickly got up and left the room.  
It was the first time their sleeping with each other had consequences on their daily work day. The whole day Hux avoided Kylo, yet in the evening he was back at his quarters. Neither of them spoke about it, they just slept together and then afterwards Hux fell asleep on Kylo.

And like that days passed. Weeks.

When Hux entered, Kylo was already on the bed, "I'm tired and exhausted. Sorry but I'm not up for sex today" He expected Hux to leave but he stood there. Looking somewhat lost.  
Hux had never done that before and somehow this was so much scarier than everything else. He took a few steps forwards, stopped. Uncertain. "Can I just sleep here?" At that Kylo smiled sleepily.  
Hux got into bed next to Kylo. "Come closer, you'll fall off" They had fucked so many times yet still this was awkward for Hux. "Turn a bit" Kylo seemed to be very much amused. In the end Kylo held Hux in his arms, hugged him from behind. Planted a little kiss on his shoulder, "good night, general"  
Should it bother him that he couldn't sleep well without Kylo anymore, or that he never had been happier than with Kylo, or that he definitively positively was in love with him. Perhaps he should think about that when he wasn't so tired and warm in his embrace. He drifted off to sleep.  
"Hux, Hux" Someone moved his arm underneath him. "Hux you're lying on my arm and I can't get up" Grumping, he shifted his weight, so Kylo could free his arm and get out of bed. He himself tucked at the blanket -which smelled so nicely like Kylo- and tried to keep his eyes shut against the light.  
"You can stay in bed, just leave before the cleaning droids come in." Hux blinked sleepily at Kylo and wondered if he would get a kiss even without getting up to him. Kylo turned to the door but stopped at the last step. A huff, he turned his face and grinned at him, "funny, I think I never asked you what you're first name was"  
Hux blinked vacantly at him, that explained a lot, like why he always only called him "Hux" or “general", even when they were... well most intimate with each other. After a while he answered in a whisper, "Armitage"  
The smile he got in return, nearly made up for his hurt, "Armitage" the name sounded good from his lips, "i like that name" then he left the room.  
"Stupid, stupid." No he wouldn't cry over love or a boy, "he forgot to ask for your fucking name" He didn't want to sleep anymore in Kylo's bed. Quickly he gathered his stuff, clothed and left. Careful, that no one noticed in which quarters he had slept the last night. Nights he corrected himself. The last nights.

  
The whole day he was avoiding Kylo Ren and everything that reminded him remotely of him. But since he couldn't not go to the meeting with the directors, he had no other choice but to stay in a room with Kylo Ren for at least an hour. It was the first time he was happy, he wore that damn stupid mask of his.  
He felt like a teenager again, moping over non - required love. Or so he thought how a teenager would feel. As a teenager he never had a crush or fell in love or... actually he never had ever fallen in love with someone before. Why had it to be Kylo Ren? Was it just hormones because they slept together? No, it was more. He never felt this way before. And he had a few of those love affair, but there had never been love. Love. What a strange concept. Trusting someone, opening up for them and being at their mercy. It sounded weak to him. But yet here he was. Weak. Worthless. And unloved.  
After the torture that was the meeting, Kylo came up to him. Walking like he just wanted to pass him. But he stopped close -a few steps behind him- so that only he could hear. Words only for him. "Armitage" the masked face turned slightly to him, he knew Kylo would watch his face -and reaction. Adding, now even quieter, more hushed, "I love you too" and with that Kylo left a very much breathless Hux. His legs twitched, he wanted to leave for Kylo's quarters. Didn't dare to go right now, waiting.  
Shit, shit. He thought Kylo had forgotten that he had said 'i love you'. He thought that they could go on like that. Yet still he hoped for more and got hurt instead. But then again, now that Kylo said... no, that couldn't be. What if that was all a trap? No.. but someone claiming to love him. That seemed absurd. He neglected his work. He was a failure.  
Hux opened the door without knocking and got inside. Kylo had already waited for him. "Armitage" with big steps he was right at his side, kissed him. Pulled him to the bed. And Hux let himself be guided.  
In the night Hux softly cried. Maybe because he was happy and that was such a strange feeling. Maybe because he was afraid. Kylo woke and began to kiss away his tears, but when he tasted the salt on his lips it left a bitter taste in his mouth. Gently he brushed the tears away with his thumbs. He didn't implore, he gave him time and waited. Hux hugged him tighter and rested his head against his chest.  
"It scares me how much I love you." He shuddered and Kylo tried to keep him warm, "I would kill everyone on this base just to keep you save" a sob, "I would leave everything...for you" Kylo rested his chin on his head, softly hummed and drew words on Hux's back. He let Hux speak. But Hux didn't continue, his breath became even and he fell asleep. Kylo was sorry he hadn't said something. He pressed a kiss on his head and whispered -so not to wake him- "I feel the same." Then he softly smiled to himself, "I'm so glad you stayed" and he added, "Armitage" he drifted off to sleep, thinking that he really liked that name.  
Maybe Hux was a bit clingy, but Kylo let him. It never bothered him.  
Waking up with arms tightly wrapped around him was a feeling he never knew he missed. This obtained for both of them.

  
Hux was standing in the doorway, Kylo packed. He didn't like to see Kylo go. To hunt down that girl. Well, not precisely her but that map. And she was somehow a key to that map. Damnit. Not that Hux was jealous. But he feared rejection and had massive problems with relationships. Commitment issues. That was his first relationship and he didn't even know if it was indeed a relationship. Not that he hadn't had the possibility for relationships prior to this whatever-it-is one. He just never wanted something official, binding. But now Kylo was going on a mission and it could be dangerous and he didn't even know what they were and damnit he just didn't like the way he talked about her, like she was something special.  
"Be careful, Kylo" Kylo looked up to him and grinned. "For you always" "No, I mean it, Kylo, take care" he didn't manage to look him in the eye, instead he looked at the floor, "and then come back to me" When he looked back at Kylo, the grin had left his face. He looked more serious. Discarding his stuff, he stepped up to him and forced him to look him in the eye, "I promise, Armitage." They kissed.  
When Kylo left, Hux realized they hadn't even closed the door. They had become careless. He quickly left Kylo's quarters. Not to leave questions behind.  
The following days were pretty lonely. You never notice how lonely you really are until you found someone you care for and miss them.  
When he came back, he went to interrogate that girl Rey. First thing. Hux just kept snapping at everyone who dared to speak to him. No he was not jealous! And then everything happened so fast. The next second someone came up to him and said Snoke ordered him to get Kylo and leave. Everything was destroyed, Starkiller Base was dying, and Kylo was wounded in the woods. Kylo!  
Noone wondered why he began to run, thinking his wish to please Snoke must be reason enough.  
He knew he mustn't panic know. He needed a cool head to save his Kylo.  
It was cold in the woods. And he had forgotten to wear his cloak over his uniform. But he didn't feel the cold. He was running and he was worried. Everyone had expected him to take care of a little spaceship to carry him and Kylo to Snoke, and send others searching in the woods. Instead he sent a pilot to man a fast spaceship, which would be able to transport a seriously wounded man, and find a nurse and a doctor. He himself ran out into the woods calling and searching for Kylo.  
He found him, unconscious. A big fat scratch over his face and a shotgun wound in his lower body. Hux's eyes stung. He ripped his shirt to bandage his face and took of his jacket to keep him warm. He wouldn't get up, he had to carry him. His sight became blurry. "You promised to come back to me, dammit" He put is arms under his knees and under his shoulder and lifted him. Heavy, he was so heavy and now that Hux was naked from the waist up it was so cold. He took a few steps. He managed. It hurt but he managed. And he knew that was the only thing that mattered. He needed to get Kylo to that damn space shuttle. He heard Kylo's rasping breathing beneath the sound of his own heavy breathing. He still breathed as long as he still breathed, he had to keep walking. Hux took another few steps. And another. His legs grew heavier and heavier with each step. But he must keep moving, walking. He didn't feel his arms anymore, he was sure they were frozen, but as long as they kept Kylo safe, he didn't care. Another step. Another. So cold.  
The shuttle waited. The pilot and the doctor came to get Kylo inside. When Hux collapsed into the snow, the nurse came to help him inside. She didn't comment on his tears or his lack of clothes.  
He shuttle was surprisingly big, for one that could be steered by only one person alone. There were two quarters, one hospital ward, the cockpit. One quarter was for the doctor and the nurse, one for Hux, the pilot would stay in the cockpit and the nurse and the doctor took turns staying at Kylo's side. That was the plan.  
But Hux wouldn't leave Kylo's side. He told them, that Kylo was very important for Snoke and he would supervise him. Nothing personal. He didn't sound convincing, besides he had hold Kylo's hand while he spoke. He hadn't noticed and the stuff pretended not to.

  
After the second day deep in the night, Kylo awakened. The nurse and the doctor were both asleep, occupying both quarters, since Hux stayed the whole two days on a chair next to the bed, Kylo was in. He blinked, moved his fingers, slightly turned his head. When he saw the person fast asleep on the chair next to him, with his head on the bed close to his chest, he smiled despite the bandage over his face, nose and cheek. Smiled despite the hurt, because knowing that his... his general was safe was so relieving. More than that. With nimble fingers he brushed the ginger hairs from his general's face. Hux had a three day beard. His chin and jawline felt very stubble under the touch. Kylo liked it. He brushed again over his general's face. This time Hux stirred, blinked and suddenly was very awake. Tears of joy brimmed at the corner's of his eyes. He leaned over to gently kiss Kylo. "Your beard is scratchy" "I'll shave it" "no mmh, keep it, I like it"  
Kylo beckoned Hux to get into the bed with him. The general placed his arms under his neck at the shoulders and the other one over his heart. His head close to Kylo's. They just lay there. Suddenly tears shot into Kylo's eyes, his whole body began to shake and tremble, hands clutching at Hux's arms. "I killed my father" Hux tried to embrace him even more, to keep him safe. But he knew he couldn't. He just could try to make him feel loved and cared for.  
"General Hux, Snoke wants you to report- General Hux" The pilot was standing over the bed. Kylo was wide awake, Hux -curled up next to him- not so much. He gently brushed the ginger hairs out of his general's face and murmured softly, "Armitage" (What the pilot thought about that affectionate behaviour he didn't care about. Since he already found them fast asleep in each other's arms, it didn't matter much, he gathered.) Armitage Hux opened his eyes and took in his surroundings, climbed out of the bed, straightened his clothing and, "yes, General Hux? Yes, that's me" Kylo hid his smile under his hand.  
Hux left to report to Snoke and get new order. Well, first he needed to wash and make himself look presentable. Kylo hoped he wouldn't shave.  
The pilot went back to the cockpit and the doctor was still sleeping which left Kylo alone with the nurse.  
"So, you and the general, huh?" Since when was that the way to talk to a knight of ren? He grimaced, he didn't know how long they would be in that shuttle and since she was taking care of him he didn't want to piss her off. Damn it, what should he say. Play dumb? No, better keep it short and simple, "seems that way" She rolled her eyes but still managed to smile friendly at him at the same time, "since when? I mean the way he dashed into the cold to get you, he was nearly frozen. That dumbass took of his shirt to keep you warm and bandaged. He must really love you."  
"Don't call him a dumbass and...", Hux had got him out. Yes, Hux was the best thing that had happened to him. That dumbass risked his own health. "A while" Come to think of it, it was some time ago since they started their... (well it wasn't friends with benefits, they hadn't been friends) sex thing, which somehow became so much more. "Sometime, a few months I guess"  
"I see, you don't wanna share your boyfriend, not even a few information"  
"He's not my boyfriend, he is my... general" he grimaced, that wasn't really what he'd planned to say, "I never really thought about what we are, I guess", he said more to himself than to her, while she unwrapped the bandage on his head, "when I think about it, he is my general. Geez, that sounds stupid." The bandage was off and just for a second her face froze, then she gained the control over her facial muscles back and resumed her smile. But Kylo had noticed, he knew, "how bad is it?"

  
_Kylo, I love you. Please, let's leave the first order._  
No, he couldn't say that, not like that, not at all. But he wanted to leave. He wanted Kylo by his side, just to be with him. They never could be really together in the first order. And he nearly lost Kylo, he didn't want that to happen again. He breathed slowly, looked in the mirror. Scary how much he changed for this one person and he didn't even regret it.  
The talk with Snoke was bad, Snoke didn't fully trust him, didn't like his ways. And Snoke was disappointed. They had failed him. He would be sent to a remote planet as punishment for the destruction of Starkiller Base. Kylo would be back with Snoke, back as a trainee. Separated. They wouldn't see each other for a long time. He would ask Kylo to leave with him, together.  
Kylo was right, they couldn't leave. They had no place to go. Again they were on the bed, facing each other. “We won't leave, we stay and we overthrow Snoke.”, his eyes shone,”You and me, Armitage. Together we'll rule the galaxy.” He kissed him with enthusiasm, “but we must be patient, wait for the right moment.”  
“They'll sent me back to a fucking isolated planet. Not even as a general anymore. I have to start at the bottom. Again”  
Kylo took his hand, “but you can do it. I know you can.” Hux closed his eyes, leaned against Kylo. His voice barely a broken whisper, “I'm gonna miss you. In a week, we won't see each other anymore.” Fuck, he wouldn't cry now. He kept his eyes pressed shut. Arms pulled him closer, “We wait for each other. And then we'll rule the galaxy and no one can say we can't be together.” His voice was purposeful and even a bit harsh.  
They spent the following days mostly in bed. When they reached the hidden planet, Snoke's den, Kylo gave Hux a holoprojector. But they both knew they couldn't use it often. It wasn't safe. And Snoke mustn't ever know about them. Kylo knew he would use Hux to keep him close and obedient. He wouldn't let that happen.  
And then Hux left in a space shuttle, leaving Kylo with Snoke. In his secluded quarters he dared to cry and rage. It wasn't fair.

  
Months passed. Kylo was back to being an apprentice, only sometimes was he sent on a mission. Working against the resistance. He got the news that Luke was found and started the training of Rey.  
His mother had died. Sitting in his room, he never felt more lonely. Snoke called for him, an emergency meeting of sorts. Now that General Morgana was deceased, it changed the fight against the rebels. He donned his mask and went to Snoke. Like always Snoke would let him wait in the hall. Next to the holograms of the requested directors and generals. They all had they backs to him, as he approached. One figure stood out in his eyes. The way he held his body posture absolutely up right, his arms crossed behind his back, chin up. A bit of red hair pecked through the blue holographic light. Thankfully there was big enough space for Kylo to step next to him.  
“General Hux, I heard you got promoted.” Oh, dear. He had missed him, he hadn't seen him in ages.  
“Kylo Ren” He let his arms hang loosely at his sides. Kylo knew he couldn't touch him, nevertheless he let his left hand fall close to Hux's hologram. His black gloved hand nearly touching the holographic blue one of Hux. There were too many witnesses to do more or say something. This must be enough. He glanced at him under his mask, not turning his head though. He couldn't dare to be obvious. Hux looked good. He hadn't shaved off his beard, covering his jawline. Kylo would very much like to touch it.  
The meeting was dull. A lot of talk about stuff he already knew and about his mother. Something deep within him wanted to curse them all for talking that way about his mom. They weren't allowed to use her name, or even think about her. Even less, congratulate each other over her death. He felt shame creeping up his body and wondered if she could see him now. He shivered but no one noticed except Hux who shot him a worried glance.  
That had been a few days before the resistance got more aggressive. A few weeks later the first order was failing. Whole planets got reoccupied by them, including the one Hux stayed at as general. Kylo tried to reach him via his holoprojector, he didn't get an answer. It must be damaged, he told himself. His general must be safe for he felt that he was still alive, somewhere. Kylo raged. Not knowing where Hux was drove him angry and reckless. A few days later, he got overpowered and captured by the resistance.

  
They brought him to Luke. And Kylo fell to his knees, crying, begging for forgiveness.  
They kept him with them at the base with the Jedi, Luke and Rey. Most of the time, he was alone or he talked with Luke. Talks with Luke consisted of listening a lot. He was glad about it, there was nothing he could tell his former master. Luke told him the war wouldn't be over until they had Snoke. They didn't know where he was and Kylo didn't tell.  
He tried to reach Hux's holoprojector, again. He knew it wouldn't work but he needed to try. He didn't know where he was, whether he was safe. Was he still with the first order? Had Snoke him? Did he know about them?  
“Who are you trying to contact?” before Kylo could even think of an answer, Luke took the projector from him. “The first order?” Kylo shook his head, feeling like a young boy again caught stealing cookies.  
“General Hux? Why did you try to talk to him?” His disappointment -both audible and visible- stuck like a slap. “It's not what-” “I think?”, Luke shot him a angry glance, warning him, “not what I think, mmh? I guess you just wanted to ask him 'bout his day, mmh, 'cause you're such good pals?” “Yes, no... I love him, we're..”, Kylo dwarfed under his uncle's stern look. He sat down on the ground, pulling his legs up. His voice suddenly a lot lower, “It's true, I love him and he loves me...” and Kylo told his uncle everything. Even the part where he wanted to rule the galaxy together with Armitage.  
Luke sat still, deep in thoughts. Then his gaze focused back on his nephew. What he wanted to say Kylo never found out because in this very moment Rey entered the room. After shooting Kylo a death glare she resumed to ignore him and approached Luke, “He won't talk, but I feel he's not behind the order anymore. I” Luke interrupted her, “Tell him Kylo Ren is dead” then he dismissed her.  
Luke only nodded at Kylo's questions and rummaged in his robes for a projector. Blue transparent holographs flickered to life. There was Rey and... and General Hux. “We took him. But since he is our prisoner he won't speak. Only once asked about Snoke and – about you”, Luke watched his reaction avidly, “but I hadn't thought much about it, until now” Kylo's eyes watered, he has been so near, so close.  
“Kylo Ren is dead”, he heard Rey say. His eyes only on Hux. Who clenched a damaged holoprojector in his hands, except that he showed no other reaction to the words. His face closed and stoic. Rey stayed only a bit longer, Hux just stood there, unmoving. Kylo's heart beat up to his throat, he didn't dare look away from Hux. Then Rey left. Hux still didn't move. Kylo's hands gripped the projector harder, cramped and tense. Suddenly Hux fell to the ground, it seemed as if he was vomiting but he was screaming. It didn't sound human, not even remotely. He screamed, as if it gave him physical pain. His whole body cramped on the floor, crying, shaking and screaming. His animalistic sobs chilled Kylo to the bone. Tears burned in his eyes, “make it stop, make it stop” but Luke didn't hear him, he had left to talk to Rey.

  
The next time Rey came to Hux, she found him sitting in the corner, staring blankly into the distance. She thought he hadn't noticed her but in a monotone voice he began to speak as soon as she was in earshot, “I was only once at Snoke's base. It's nearly a year ago, so I don't know whether he's still there. But if you give me a map, I can show you where it was.”

  
“You were trained as a Jedi once. Rey could show you the way of the force again, you could help us, fight on our side for freedom and the people.” Kylo didn't answer. He had asked Luke over and over again to see Hux, talk to him, tell him he wasn't dead. Luke only ever answered, “not yet”. “You still hope that Snoke wins?” Kylo only shrugged. “You think Snoke will welcome you back. Maybe he will. But not Hux.” At that Kylo looked up to his uncle. “He'll know Hux has talked, you think he would accept that. I don't think. Hux will die if Snoke gets him. Didn't you wondered why he talked now that he thinks you're dead.” Tears were silently running down his cheeks. After Luke already thought he wouldn't speak at all, he whispered, “You trust me to fight?” Luke gently placed his hands on his shoulders, “Yes, I think it's the only way to redeem yourself, Ben”  
And so Kylo Ren really died and Ben Solo resurrected. Luke placed him under Rey's order. She disliked him enormously, but he grew to respect her. His training was hard and fast. Hux had told Rey everything he knew and they went out to get Snoke. Luke didn't come with them, he stayed back.  
While Ben and Rey were on their mission, Luke often went to speak with the former general Hux. He wanted to know as much as possible about the first order, so they could destroy it completely and let the republic rise again. Hux didn't hold anything back, he even enjoyed their almost daily conversations. They walked through the gardens, sometimes Luke even let him visit the library.  
“You always carry that non-functioning projector with you,why?”, Luke already knew why but he was curious what Hux would answer. He went still for a moment and looked at the holoprojector in his hand, just like the projector he saw better times. “It's the only thing I have left from Kylo” in that moment he looked so vulnerable. He blinked at his tears, willed them to vanish. He let his gaze wander over the green hills in the distance, face turned away from the old Jedi. “Kylo Ren is dead, general, but Ben Solo isn't” a beat. Hux turned, slowly, not daring to believe, yet still hoping. He only saw honesty in Luke's eyes. Honesty and understanding. A smile began to build on his lips. It grew in size and radiance, “he's alive.”  
“You're not angry, general, for keeping you in the dark?”, it was a statement, an observation, not a question.  
“No, not now. Maybe in a few days, but not now”, he looked so agitated and alive, like he hadn't been in days, “where is he?” “On a mission to bring down Snoke” His smile died on his lips. His hands trembled. “So, you sent him to his death” Hux turned away again. Only the sound of wind and waves. It was soothing the turmoil inside of him. He was alive but he wasn't safe.  
A sudden noise pulled him out of his thoughts, he turned to see Luke had gotten out his projector and was listening to Rey, “We'll go in now, but Ben wants me to tell you if we die tell Hux he loves him. I know it's bullshit, as if we would die... but in case something happens to us give my love to Poe and Finn. And give Chewie a hug... well, we're better off now.” “May the force be with you, Rey” Luke solemnly closed his projector and gave Hux a grim smile, “you heard her, they'll be back”

  
And they came back, only Ben Solo was unconscious and on the brim to death. He had risked his life so Rey could finish Snoke off. They brought Ben to the hospital ward where Hux was allowed to stay at his side. Always insisting that the question wasn't if he woke up but when. The galaxy celebrated the end of the first order and Luke came to say goodbye. He was leaving for Coruscant where a new republic was build needing help and advise.  
Rey came to visit, once to say she was leaving with Luke. She told Hux that Ben could resume his apprenticeship if he wanted. And that he wasn't _that_ bad. When Hux wasn't at his side, he once talked with Finn and Poe. Finn punched him in the face. Hux reckoned he deserved worse, a lot worse.  
He walked back into the ward, Ben was awake, lying on the bed, listening to Luke over the projector. When he spotted Hux standing in the doorway smiling at him, he put the projector down, “Armitage” The called rushed to his side and kissed him, “Kylo” Tears of joy washed over their faces. Smiling through the tears he muttered between kisses, “I'm not Kylo anymore” Hux climbed into the bed next to him, not breaking apart from his lips. Happier than he had been in months. “Slowly, my general.” he was still very tired, exhausted and badly wounded. Hux kissed him gently, “I'm not a general anymore.”

**Author's Note:**

> oh man, idk what I am doing here... hopefully you like this :)  
> as you can see english is not my first language, i hope there aren't too many mistakes :o


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